Stay Out of the Basement
by kandisi
Summary: Challenge fic, Feng/Lee. Stuck in the Mishima Compound, Lee Chaolan's busy doing laundry... not Feng Wei, right? What Kazuya Mishima overhears outside of the basement door leads him to think differently...


**A/N: **This is another fic written for my pal Caroline, who requested some Lee/Feng, an object being a pillowcase, and one line of dialogue being "Will you take that thing off?". I hope you like this, Caro! xD

**Stay Out of the Basement**

It was a stormy day in Tokyo, Japan.

A typhoon was blazing about, and meanwhile, a few of the famous 'Iron Fist' competitors were trapped in the Mishima Compound...

In the kitchen, Kazama Jin frowned. He didn't know _why _he had invited any of these dimwits to his fabulous compound in the first place. Was he really _that _lonely?

No.

Maybe.

Probably.

Yes.

Damn.

When Jin's former friend, Lei Wulong, walked into the kitchen, Jin could only frown again as Lei went straight for the bottle of imported vodka on the counter.

"No, Lei, you've had quite enough."

Lei returned Jin's frown. "Fine, Jin, have it your way. You've turned into a real grouch lately, you know that?"

Jin nodded. "Yes, having your mother's head ripped off in front of you, being shot by your grandfather, and having your soul possessed by an evil demon tend to have that effect on someone," he smirked.

Then, Mishima Kazuya entered the kitchen, poking his head inside. "Hey, have either of you seen Lee around?"

"Why?" Lei asked, "So you two can do more unspeakably dirty things with one another?"

Kazuya nodded. "Yes, that is the general idea."

"Ugh," Lei groaned, rolling his eyes as he exited the kitchen and walked past Kazuya.

"He's downstairs doing the laundry," Jin replied, standing up from the chair he had previously been seated in.

Meanwhile, Lei was walking past a closet, when none other than Bryan Fury opened up the door, and swiftly pulled Lei inside.

Neither of them were heard from again for a while.

Kazuya was heading towards the door to the laundry room, when he promptly heard a loud moan originating from downstairs...

_The hell was that? _Kazuya thought, his right-hand touching the doorknob. He was just about to turn the knob when...

"Fuck! Lee, that hurts!"

"Well it wouldn't hurt so much if you stopped moving around. Now try to hold still. It's jammed in you pretty deep."

Kazuya froze. That had been Feng Wei's voice. What in the HELL were he and Lee DOING down there...? And what was all that about 'it' being jammed 'in' there pretty 'deep'?

"Lee, please! It's too big for me!"

"Feng, you're going to have to hold still so I can try to get it out of you."

"Oh God, it's only in me deeper now!"

Kazuya's jaw dropped. Again, what in the HELL was going on down there? Were Lee and Feng actually... actually... doing 'stuff'? Not just any stuff, _the _stuff. The stuff-stuff. Fuck, they were, weren't they? Lee... fuck him, that dirty little slut! He was down there... screwing-around with Feng Wei of all people! Well Kazuya wouldn't let them, damnit!

"Lee I'm bleeding...! Thanks a lot! I told you to take it out of me, and instead you only pushed it in further and harder!"

"You're such a baby, Feng. I've had one in me before that was WAY bigger than this one. I almost NEVER got it out of me, I thought it was going to be in there ALL night!"

Kazuya's teeth gritted. Lee. That little skank. Now he was talking about Kazuya to Feng, wasn't he? That trick. That dirty, stinking lil' trick.

"I've... I've almost... almost got it! Just hold still!"

"Ouch!"

"There, it's out."

"But I'm still bleeding pretty bad."

"Here's a pillowcase for you."

"I thought you said it was for me, not you! Hey! Will you take that thing off?"

"You're no fun sometimes."

"Gimme that! I need to stop the bleeding that's all thanks to you for not pulling it out of me when I first asked you to."

"It was kind of big for you. You're lucky I was able to get it out at all. It was stuck in there."

That was it.

Kazuya opened the door, and turned the corner, looking down the steps.

To see...

Lee Chaolan and Feng Wei, fully clothed; Feng sitting on the washing machine, pillowcase in hand, and Lee standing on the opposing side of the room gathering some more laundry.

Lee blinked, staring up the flight of stairs. "Kazuya? What are you... doing?"

"Never mind me! What are you two doing down here?!"

Lee sighed. "Feng had a splinter in his pinky finger, and I got it out for him."

Oh.

It was now Kazuya's turn to blink.

"Yeah... okay," Kazuya said, feeling like an utter pervert. "I knew that."

Right...

Pervert.

Kazuya turned on his heel, and walked out of the basement, shutting the door behind him.

Lee looked at Feng, and grinned darkly.

"You think he bought it?" Lee asked, before kissing Feng gently on the lips.

"Totally," Feng responded, kissing the Silver Devil back, "He'll never suspect anything now... idiot."

And back up stairs...

Bryan and Lei finally came out of the closet, and Bryan Fury seemed _extremely _satisfied and pleased with himself.

Lei looked like a train wreck from Hell.

In the living room, Jin walked over to the navy blue couch and sat down next to Hwoarang.

"What's on?" Jin asked, sounding annoyed. As always.

"Reality shit T.V.," Hwoarang responded, "But it'd be better if YOU were on. Turned on, that is."

Jin rolled his eyes. "I swear that's all you ever think about."

In the corner, Kazuya Mishima was brooding to himself quietly.

Lee wasn't up to anything with skanky Feng. Yes. That's right. It had just been a little splinter -- no biggy. Not at all.

Besides, if Lee and Feng were up to anything, Kazuya would kill them.

Yes.

Oh yes.

Back on the couch, Jin caught a playful wink from Hwoarang, and could only sigh again.

If this storm didn't end soon, Jin was going to kill himself.

Or someone else.

Jin really couldn't make up his mind.

-End


End file.
